night#4 and counting on
My last proper dinner was on Sunday.
Monday came with renewed hopes. Unfortunately, the only thing that happened was a reaffirmation that I shouldn't have high hopes. Or any hopes as a matter of fact. Things didn't quite go as planned and that as always left me crushed, so much so that my appetite evaporated into thin air. People look at me like I am weird (OK, I am) when I tell them that I am hungry but don't have the appetite to eat so I don't (eat). Eating is a pleasure. If there is none, I rather not. Apparently, no such thing exists. But that it does. In my life. Thus Monday came and left with me surviving on coffee and biscuits.
Tuesday was slightly better. There is the coffee but also some curry chicken and lettuce. If not because I already committed to a lunch date with a fellow colleague, I'd probably end up lunch-less. Thankfully too, a random act of kindness kept me fueled in the morning:
I must have been complaining and ranting about being hungry too much that I got this random act of kindness. It was enough to kept the hunger at bay. For awhile.
Wednesday was the climax of the week (me hopes). Literally survived on coffee and biscuits again. Why exactly on these two? My office has them for free. Otherwise, I'd probably be surviving on plain water alone. It is not a very healthy diet but one that truly works as I lost about 2kg when the scale tipped at 55kg. Water weight? Muscle loss? My brain is getting too fuzzy to even care. Especially after receiving this:
At least my salary is in. But I would probably have to think of a better long term survival plan.
After 2nights of no dinner (more no like no food at all) and surviving on coffee and biscuits, it was nice to receive an invitation for a dept gathering scheduled at lunch time with the words "lunch will be served". The unfortunate thing is when there is the word light in front of lunch. How could you have a dept lunch that is light especially when a majority of the workforce is male? Still, I was hyped with the thought of free food that I had a difficult time falling asleep.
Actually, for some reason, my bedtime is getting really messed up.
I want tomorrow to come earlier because with the new day, it brings the promise of food (coffee to be specific). So much so that I got too excited and can't fall asleep.
Then I would wake up at random hours through the night, either to pee or just in excitement. What category is this? To be so excited over the notion of food (not necessarily free) that you'd wake up an hour , even two before you are supposed to?
Perhaps, I should add too that starting this week, my alarm goes off at 5.50am so that I could do an hour of exercise. Except for Wed and Thurs when my work starts at 7am. Yes, my exercise routine is still on-going sans (proper) food. It's the illusion of a six pack that is keeping me going.
Thursday certainly brought with it much hope but this time, I was cautious. Not wanting to be letdown again, I tread carefully, much to the organizer's annoyance.
When she mentioned light, she really meant light:
With everything in the bag, I was astonished. It didn't look sufficient. I knew it wasn't going to be a full feast but this was way beyond full. Apparently they didn't quite share my sentiments which worked out to my advantage as they kept asking me to eat and if I was full already.
Can you blame me for being so ravenous?
Having survived on mainly coffee and biscuits for the past 3days and nothing for 3nights, I deserve to reward myself well. And that I did. Stuffed myself so much that it probably negated all the diet. Even took some home.
The lunch ended at 1pm-ish. By 2.30pm, I looked over to my boss....
can i just say something?
what?
i feel a bit hungry.
what the....
i feel like eating the rest of the pizza.
you can't be serious.
it's the smell coming from the box.... it's intoxicating. it's making me hungry.
how can you eat so much but not gain weight?!?!?
um.. but the big boss did say that if there isn't enough, we could hop to the mamak across the road for more food.
you sure? we could go. if you really want.
In the end, I made myself another cup of joe, munched on more biscuits and silently wept for not being able to eat the rest of my pizza without people judging me. fml.
Monday came with renewed hopes. Unfortunately, the only thing that happened was a reaffirmation that I shouldn't have high hopes. Or any hopes as a matter of fact. Things didn't quite go as planned and that as always left me crushed, so much so that my appetite evaporated into thin air. People look at me like I am weird (OK, I am) when I tell them that I am hungry but don't have the appetite to eat so I don't (eat). Eating is a pleasure. If there is none, I rather not. Apparently, no such thing exists. But that it does. In my life. Thus Monday came and left with me surviving on coffee and biscuits.
Tuesday was slightly better. There is the coffee but also some curry chicken and lettuce. If not because I already committed to a lunch date with a fellow colleague, I'd probably end up lunch-less. Thankfully too, a random act of kindness kept me fueled in the morning:
Wednesday was the climax of the week (me hopes). Literally survived on coffee and biscuits again. Why exactly on these two? My office has them for free. Otherwise, I'd probably be surviving on plain water alone. It is not a very healthy diet but one that truly works as I lost about 2kg when the scale tipped at 55kg. Water weight? Muscle loss? My brain is getting too fuzzy to even care. Especially after receiving this:
After 2nights of no dinner (more no like no food at all) and surviving on coffee and biscuits, it was nice to receive an invitation for a dept gathering scheduled at lunch time with the words "lunch will be served". The unfortunate thing is when there is the word light in front of lunch. How could you have a dept lunch that is light especially when a majority of the workforce is male? Still, I was hyped with the thought of free food that I had a difficult time falling asleep.
Actually, for some reason, my bedtime is getting really messed up.
I want tomorrow to come earlier because with the new day, it brings the promise of food (coffee to be specific). So much so that I got too excited and can't fall asleep.
Then I would wake up at random hours through the night, either to pee or just in excitement. What category is this? To be so excited over the notion of food (not necessarily free) that you'd wake up an hour , even two before you are supposed to?
Perhaps, I should add too that starting this week, my alarm goes off at 5.50am so that I could do an hour of exercise. Except for Wed and Thurs when my work starts at 7am. Yes, my exercise routine is still on-going sans (proper) food. It's the illusion of a six pack that is keeping me going.
Thursday certainly brought with it much hope but this time, I was cautious. Not wanting to be letdown again, I tread carefully, much to the organizer's annoyance.
When she mentioned light, she really meant light:
Can you blame me for being so ravenous?
Having survived on mainly coffee and biscuits for the past 3days and nothing for 3nights, I deserve to reward myself well. And that I did. Stuffed myself so much that it probably negated all the diet. Even took some home.
can i just say something?
what?
i feel a bit hungry.
what the....
i feel like eating the rest of the pizza.
you can't be serious.
it's the smell coming from the box.... it's intoxicating. it's making me hungry.
how can you eat so much but not gain weight?!?!?
um.. but the big boss did say that if there isn't enough, we could hop to the mamak across the road for more food.
you sure? we could go. if you really want.
In the end, I made myself another cup of joe, munched on more biscuits and silently wept for not being able to eat the rest of my pizza without people judging me. fml.
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