The older, the wiser

People say that with age, comes wisdom. Honestly, do you know the number of sheng nu duped into parting their moneys in the name of love to some guy they barely know? Or elderly parents who spent tonnes of money on that son who chucked them into an old folks' home because it's convenient? That's why it is important to constantly upgrade ourselves. Be it superficial (breast augmentation, face lift etc) or intellectually.

For me, it's a pursuit of money that really matters. Because money makes the world go round. Many people think that's materialistic, gold digging but if you enjoy crying in the rain or begging of the streets, be my guest.

 Having had indirect lessons in PowerShell, it felt right to go for a proper training in hopes of fully harnessing the power of it. While it did provide more insight, it was drier than me on my no-date life. It's just one of those things that you really don't care about unless the need arises and that don't often come up much unless if you have to delete 286374634 accounts.  

I attended this 2day training in Iverson at BU Centerpoint. Very happy because it was close to home. Not happy when I have to get stuck in the infamous BU Sony traffic jam. How does one manage to drive with their car roof down? All that pollution. Or maybe they got ultra efficient air purifier at home (or even installed in the car) so they don't care about some speck of dust in their lungs.

The one thing that I enjoy most next to the lesson would be the food. Free food to be precise. There's the morning tea break, lunch, evening tea break. All paid for. Unless you paid for your own training then boo hoo.

For breakfast, it is usually something light. Egg and sardine sandwich may be quite simple but it's not something I see on the menu often.Of course, it's no where near this but it'll do.

What you often get would be these: Malay kuih. While these come in handy bite size, they are usually too sweet. Left is the rempah udang which is glutinous rice with spicy shrimp floss; a good mix of sweet and spicy. Right is kuih seri muka. I like them both solely for the glutinous rice and the sweetness. If you are interested to find out more, head here. Yes, that is a blueberry muffin in the middle. So not a kuih.

More often than not, they will also give you something savory instead of sweet. The RM1 (or RM2?0 packet of nasi lemak has a small bowl of rice with a scoop of sambal and some fried anchovies does wonders alongside the hard boiled egg. Just that you won't feel so good about it after 30minutes.

Cucur udang is also a popular snack in the evening. I never really liked this snack when I was younger because of the prawn shells. Right most is a chocolate muffin and turnip cake. Both don't work well together but when you have limited budget and serving it to people who are supposed to be there for learning and not eating, you really don't care. Of course, it speaks even more when you give them sliced papaya and bun.

This was a very kind gesture from a friend. He was my high school mate that I lost contact when school ended. It was funny bumping into him there because last we met, he didn't dawn on me as someone who would end up being in the IT field, what more as an Exchange administrator. Married too. We recognized each other at first glance and a reunion of sorts ensued.

Somehow, it feels like the married ones are those who are kinder/more attentive/generous to me. Is it the allure of the forbidden fruit or that's why they are married?

Some training centers would give you a certain mount of money for you to spend it however you want. Lunch was at this place that has now closed down and replaced by yet another cafe.

It's not hard to see with its mediocre food and almost abysmal portion.

Sometimes, the voucher is good as it takes away the burden of the golden question at 11.45am: What's for lunch?

McDonald's is a luxurious weekday lunch when at work because of parking and timing.

My double beef burger ^_^ Obviously, it cost well above RM 10 but he paid for it and gave me his vouchers too. Oh, he's not married now, got divorced. Currently in Denmark for 3weeks to setup new VMWare for his company.

Another day, we went to Gerai for lunch. My first visit and it turned out to be quite good. This was his Hokkien mee. Got the looks.

My butter chicken rice. I wasn't on a no-carb diet much then and it is difficult to get a decent lunch without burning a hole in the pocket when eating out. This was not just aesthetically pleasing, it tasted not bad too. Why is it that I never returned there then?

This was from another training. I hung out with few of the girls there and they were doing the whole getting to know you, including your age. When it was my turn, one response was, "eh, you're older than me."
Like thanks, bro sis.

My spell of external training ended and the rest were in the office.

At least it meant I could get coffee whenever the need arises.

Kuih talam is peculiar thing. You need to bite in the right ratio so that you get the perfect balance of the sweet pandan flavor with the muted coconut flavor on top. It does take a bit of practice to get right.

The brown one maybe a kuih lompang but I can't tell for sure. It isn't very sweet with the coconut flakes on top. Then you have the Kuih keria which is a healthy snack gone wrong. For sweet potato to be fried then smothered with sugar, it's bad but good at the same time. Kuih kasturi is also a similar snack but less sweet, still as sinful.

Kuih koci using pumpkin but I don't recall that sweet taste. Apparently its original color of black is synonymous with death, making them a popular funeral snack. Yes, please have this at my funeral. That blue ominous drink is really some harmless juice. Unless you count calories to be harmful. No damage to my purse because I didn't pay for that shit.

When they first started the internal training, we were given a menu of rice with a main dish. Lemon chicken and black pepper chicken. Tell me if that doesn't remind you of a hard laborer's lunch. Thankfully, they stepped up since then and provided lunch from dahmakan.

The story goes, the higher the challenge and skill&will, the more/easier it would be to attain flow. That is where you do something and don't realize the hours that have passed. Quite like me when I blog at night and bam, it's bed time.

But when you do something with high challenge but low skill/will, you get anxious. I suppose it's the fear of failure, the unknown or plain embarrassment. This is where you are taken out of your shell and comfort zone. Do you embrace it and charge forward? Or do you raise a white flag and surrender to where you were?

To say that we know everything that there is is impossible. Nobody would know of everything except in their own rightful domain. Even so, there are bound to be new territories to discover in there. Having been in the same job for 3years now means nothing much fazes me which is why getting a new role late last year was quite a welcomed change. Not that it was something entirely new (I had been at it unofficially for few months) but to have it down in black&white meant a certain responsibility now to deliver it.

Of course, there was the usual fear, the anxiety of the unknown and the worry of not doing well. But I tell myself, screw it. Sure it could get worse but the world would still continue to move, the sun would still shine and I would still be alive at the end of it, for better or worse. Sometimes, people mistake that as confidence but really, my last f left the window in order for my sanity to remain intact. The more I try, the harder it becomes trying to function with all these voices in my head.

The fear of failure. The embarrassment of not achieving (someone else's) dreams.

It is easy to say it now but there are days when it just doesn't feel worth it anymore. How do you deal with that?