Tea & croissant: Gods & goddesses in Louvre

It's not just the Egyptians who get all the space in Louvre.

There is a dedicated wing to Greeks too. Their mythology to be precise.

Head of Dionysus. The god of good times. But He didn't really have a good time Himself.

Can't recall which but if today's men maintain their health well into their twilight years, I think they would be this hot.

Niobid (daughter of Niobe) restored as Psyche (Personification of the soul). This was supposedly a botched job as they got the identity of the goddess wrong. Either way, it does seem to say, "eh, what's up, dude?"

Today's male Instagram models seem to have been inspired by their ancestors. And yes, they do have that much coveted V abs.

Maybe it's their diet or their lifestyle or simply imagination that people back then are fit as hell.

One of the rarer ones where their modesty is covered.

The Old Old Centaur. Papa, look here! Son, no need to pull my hair....
 

Sleeping Hermaphroditus. The level of detail on the mattress is just astonishing. Almost looked like the real thing.

Maybe. Or maybe not Athena. There's apparently a trick to identify the gods and goddesses. But my interest in them isn't at that level yet.

The tamest lion statue. Its expression is kinda like dude, I'm new at this so pretend I'm scary OK?

A rather large vase. There is usually a story here. Somewhere. Something.

Do people really used to look like that? Actually, not so bad looking.

Yo, dude, whats up, dude?
 

Athena: goddess of wisdom, craft and war. Not sure why this looks more like a god than goddess.

Mini statues but damn, those six packs.

Can you guess who again? Yup, Athena. I know, you only know of this Athena.

Hermes fastening his sandal. No joke. This Hermes deals with transitions and boundaries. I think we can all agree that we rather have this Hermes.

So you should have noticed by now that most of the statues are male (save for Athena but even she got rendered with masculine features at times) and their manhood is usually in full glory. Rather tiny I might add.

Somehow, there is a formula to that Greek body.

Here is a boob to whet your appetite.

There were some statues that were so captivating that back then, people tried to copulate with it.

Another portrayal of the goddess of love, Venus.

At first glance, it looked like a dude who's chilling with his mates and stoning away. But, there's a better way to look at it.

Although the women are chubbier and meatier than their male counterpart, there's still some six pack going on.

Would you believe me if I said my torso is slightly similar to this? Well, I am no Aphrodite. But if you must, this is almost a representation of me. How to lose my tummy fat??

Part of a larger work. Ok, ma, here's your tower, I promise that I am not looking.

Eros with his mom, Aphrodite. Eh ma, you look nice. Oi son, I told you not to look.

You naughty boy, come here I smack you.

Venus again but with boobs and six pack. Never in real life. Unless if it was  a boob job.

This is how the large statues are made. Or rather, assembled.

Well, my commentary are probably more funny than educational. If you want a more helpful guide, here's one.