the power of positive thinking

Last week started off like every other week this year where I tell myself that I will not spend unnecessarily and save as much as usual. Somehow, that didn't quite follow through  because not only did I spend for lunch but dinner as well. My daily expenditure is capped at RM 14 per day for my meals. So that works out to about RM 7 per meal. Breakfast is free since my office provides free coffee, Milo, biscuits and milk. Slightly disappointed with myself, I decided not to beat myself up for it and try to redeem myself for the rest of the week.

And redeem myself I did. Almost gloriously. Somehow things fell into place because I either forgot to log my expenses for the week or I actually didn't have to spend a single dime for the weekdays.

I started eating oats and my cereal for lunch but that doesn't quite work out as it only made me hungrier, crave for more food. Instead, it'd be easier if I just didn't eat anything at all and the hunger will just eventually fade away. Yes, it does. No, I am still alive. How else do you think you are reading this? If anyone has a better solution to suppress my hunger (and possibility a few other things), please let me know. A friend had been popping appetite suppressant pills which sort of works but turns her into a zombie and costs few hundreds. Nobody I ain't got money for that.

Even on Friday when I had a great lunch, my thrifty plan worked. Any lunch/dinner/meal/thing is great when it is free.
On the way back to the car, he asked if I wanted Starbucks.

what... coffee?
yes. Starbucks. you want?
please don't tempt me like that.
ok, lets go.

While waiting for our turn, there was this dazzling array of cakes. It has been awhile since I've had one from here and what I would do to have one.
I could hear it calling out to me (no, it definitely was not from the lack of food since it was right after lunch) but we could never be so please, just let me be.... Hungry... Dissatisfied.

Fortunately, I still got my coffee ^_^ Tried their (maybe not so) new hazelnut macchiato. Not sure if it's this flavor or branch or Starbucks itself but the drink was rather watered down, not enough of substance. I should have stuck to my dark mocha or chocolate chips. More surprising was when Starbucks decided to give away their 2015 planner for free when you spend above RM 30 in a single receipt =D Not that I paid for any of it but hey, he didn't want it and so I took it.

Throughout the entire week, my brain was running on speed, on low fuel. Partly from the lack of food and too much of work. It would be nice if they swapped. Alas, that is only in my dreams. Hence, my waking moments are filled with thoughts of food and when they'll be in my  stomach with a single thought to keep me going:

delayed gratification.

Whatever hunger that keeps me insane, 

Whatever pain that keeps me suffering, 

Whatever memories that plague me... 

One day, it will all be worth it. One day.