a parable of expectations on love

In my lame ass attempt to appear educated/classy improve myself, you'd probably notice a number of articles originating from Brain Pickings which is ironic because that site takes from other publications. Goes to show that there is no such thing as originality. It ain't plagiarism if you credit the original source.

One thing that struck me raw today was reading this. The moment Kenny found his the white goat was poignant in ways more than one. More often than not, in our lifetime, we stumble on that someone who fits into our ideal of what we want in a partner (a white goat). At the same time, our hearts/minds have made up itself to love that person for all eternity and hold onto them best we could.

But upon realizing that they want something else (yellow trolls, blue gentians and pink mountain roses) instead of what we have to offer (buttercups and black-eyed Susans), slowly the perfection unravels. More and more you realize that what you have to offer them (sit on the roof of my house and listen to the beep-beep of the automobiles as they go rushing by)  isn't what they are looking for (stand on a mountaintop in America, and listen to the cowbells). Then comes the deal breaker for you (funny stories) because they can't give you just that.

When you come to the final realization, it is either fight or flight. Not as dramatic as that implies but the former would be to work around it and compromise some. The latter would be to acknowledge the fact that they are not your only goat and move along until you find just that. The story in Sendak's book continues to a happier tune but my mind was slightly depressed over this very sentence:

“—you are not my only goat,” he finished sadly.

It is sad but an important one. When you come to note that there is no meeting each other's needs, it would be best to cut your losses and wish the other best of luck. I do not believe in holding onto some hope that someone would change in the name of love. Nobody does. Your love won't make them one step closer into your ideal. You can either change your expectations of them/love or find the next one who's (hopefully) closer to what you have in mind.

Another story that follows in a similar fashion is of Mrs Lovewright and Purrless:

Purrly came into Mrs Lovewright's life, exactly as what she was looking for: small and cute. Perfect in every way except that Purrly wouldn't/couldn't purr as she had also hoped for. Despite her many attempts, she couldn't get it to purr. 

Soon enough, it escalated into a battle zone that ended up only hurting the both of them. Yet, Purrly soon came to grew from a kitten into a cat because despite its purrless-ness, Mrs Lovewright fed it. One day after having had enough of Purrly's misbehavior, she decided to kick it out after a mishap in the bedroom. 

Purrly's disobedience has earned it a ticket out of the household. But despite all its misgivings, Mrs Lovewright's heart softened when she caught that meow she had longed for. Together, they lived not-so-happily ever after but still lovingly in their own ways.

If I was Mrs Lovewright, I'd kick Purrly out for misbehaving to the point of injuring me. Defying my orders even. Yes, that is why my plan to adopt a cat to avoid a lonely old age is not a viable one because I don't want to be enslaved to my feline.

It would have been easier/better for Mrs Lovewright to adopt a new/different cat but all you (hopeless) romantics would go pointing your fingers and go, "Amy, how can you give up so easily? Love's all about compromise and acceptance".

Well, life's short. I've had my fair share of compromising and accepting. What is so wrong about wanting something that fits into my expectations? Seriously, the age thing is getting older than me. Find a better excuse for me to lower my bar and settle.