It's an Asian Thing: Thou must own a property

Why are we so obsessed with owning a piece of property? Landed or condo, freehold or leasehold, it seems like we are expected to have a house of our own to sort of establish ourselves in society. Just what is the importance of having a property? I don't quite understand the need for it.

Personally, my journey in buying property started when I first started working 10years ago. Back then, it was just a fleeting moment as I could barely manage to pay for my car installment. After a few years, it became my dream to own my own property. Why? Because it seemed like the right thing to do. Like getting a car, going out on dates, settling down. Still, my salary then didn't allow me to delve on it much. It was only few years ago when I gave it a serious thought. How long more do I want to rent? How long more do I want to pay for someone else's home loan? How long more do I lead that nomadic life? But my previous landlord (God bless his soul) was quite a nice man. He never really bothered us at all. I've heard of landlords who would pop by the house unannounced to 'inspect' the unit. That never happened. If anything, I think I saw him less than 5 times in the 2years I stayed in his house. Of course, it helps that we were punctual with the rent.

Things started to get serious when I scouted around my desired neighborhood for any property that was within my budget. The one thing to bear in mind is you can always try to negotiate the property price. Some are willing to slash depending on how desperate they are. Mine was happy to go by RM10k. So eager he was that he agreed on the same night. I should have asked for RM 20k discount, had I known he was that desperate to offload the property. The other thing you need to remember is you need cash upfront totaling up 10% of the selling price as down payment and at least another RM10k for the miscellaneous fees. This is a conservative estimation as it'll definitely vary with your property price since it'll consist of the stamp duty, legal fees etc. Yes, all these are hidden charges which the agent won't tell you unless you ask them specifically.

So, what really was my determining factor in putting down my foot and actually sign the S&P?
I was heart broken then and needed some form of distraction. You know how some girls who after breaking up go through a drastic makeover? Changing their hairstyle, revamping their wardrobe.
I've accepted the fact that I am born ugly and plastic surgery may be my only hope so those wasn't going to cheer me up. So, yes, I ended up buying a house to get over my achy breaky heart. My previous attempts of piercing my earlobes wasn't working out because my ears were running out of space and people give me weird looks upon discovering my multiple piercings (4 on the left, 5 on the right), some even commented I was like a cow.  Definitely one of the stupidest reasons to buy your own house but it really pushed me into being a responsible person.

In my adolescent years, my pride was in the fact that I could leave a job without any backup plan or just go somewhere and not be worried. It got to the point that I realized that I could probably disappear from the face of earth and nobody would notice. Maybe my employers. And my housemate who'd find my rotting corpse too smelly. That was sad even by my own standards. Buying a house would at least remedy my inane desire to just vaporize into thin air and nobody would care. I am not the brightest tool in the shed, if you don't realize it by now. People still don't really care about me unless they want something from me. But, this is really how we roll now.

When I first got my house, the one constant thought running in my head was, "wtf did you get yourself into? wtf were you thinking? you don't have to be spending so much if you continued renting. would this bring him back into your life?". For the most parts, the regret and remorse were beginning to creep in. It isn't easy being on your own, managing everything on your own. I got help to do the physical shifting but had to sort every other details. What paint? What furniture? The excitement of prepping up my own place shed some light into my gloomy future. Everyday I told myself, "It's going to be all right. You'll manage fine. Or maybe not. But you will manage like you always do. And you will learn to accept this. Like this. Eventually. It's not like you have any other choice". I am not very good at pep talks even to myself but not sure why some people still turn to me when they are depressed.

Into my third year now, it is safe to say that buying my house is possibly my biggest achievement (it is a close contender to surviving past 30). There is no denying the pride when people find out that you own a property (especially if you are a single female) and compliment you on it. There are also days when my lifestyle becomes more restricted but I accept it as part and parcel of being a home owner. No frivolous spending. No splurging on meals. No getaways. Well, that's the extreme version. But with careful planning, you can still do all that. Yes, financial planning isn't really my forte.

Helping a friend scout around for property, it is easy to see why people these days seem to find it difficult to buy their dream house. The main factor is money. Good locations would usually cost a bomb (lucky you if they don't. Are you still single and available then?). Good price would usually mean far off location. One thing for sure is property has a more stable price compared to other forms of investment and it's (almost) a guaranteed investment instead of a liability like cars. From a layman point of view at least without taking into account other considerations e.g. type of property, location.

Initially, I was happy to be helping out but after awhile, after what could be close to 10 different properties viewed, it was starting to turn into a futile search. Of course, it didn't really help that she was a little half hearted about it. We've been looking for properties enough that few times, the sales agents mistook us for a couple. A pair of Chinese girls, none of whom were dressed like a tomboy, had long hair and we appeared to them as a couple. I always thought there'll be one masculine while the other is feminine in homosexual relationships but guess I was wrong.

After our latest house hunting, I asked her:
why exactly do you want to buy a house? 
She was stumped. She couldn't really give me an answer then and it was only when we met up weeks later, the answer was:
I thought about it. I slept on it. I wanted to buy a house because everyone else is doing it. 
On a plus side, at least most of the people around her are not doing drugs, raping people, robbing stores. But, this probably resonates with today's society. Owning a property has almost become expected of us. If you don't have your own place by the time you are (say) 30, society pities you for still not being up there. It becomes worse when you reveal that you are staying with your parents unless you have a very good reason e.g. to take care of them, only child.

The Asian culture dictates that we need to have a cushy job, drive a swanky ride, cosy up to the beautiful people and live in an awesome house .That's a little bit too much, don't you think? Anyway, before I digress any further, don't beat yourself up too much if you can't buy your dream house. The problem is property market has saturated by foreign investors that they leave nothing for the locals. Why do you think the government increased the minimum property value for them to RM2million? Unfortunately, it's a move that's at least one year too late because the rising trend had started years ago. If I I bought the same property just one year earlier, it meant a difference of RM100k. Do you know how much on bank loan interest alone I could have saved?!?!?! Heck, I could get breast augmentation, rhinoplasty and finish it with liposuction using that amount. Maybe even go to Amsterdam to get high after that.

Sometimes when I'm bored,  alone, hungry and lonely at home, the question of whether buying the house was the right move comes to me. The answer is yes. At the end of the day, there is at least this little sanctuary on this face of planet that I could say truly belongs to me. I suppose this is how parents feel about their children. But, I also don't want to demotivate myself by thinking how good my life would be, the financial freedom had I not bought it. 

TL;DR version: don't buy a house just to meet other people's expectations*
T&C applies. Especially if you are a guy. Yea, double standard.

Comments