Karma's a female dog

People around me have been falling sick. The usual flu, cough and fever.
Me? I was healthy as an ox. Or bull. Or pig. Frolicking around with no care in the world. What bug? What virus? I was a happy healthy camper and was mocking all these people who are unhealthy. Not to their face but in my imagination. It goes along the lines of:

sick? wow. that's easy.
flu? man, are you a tofu or what? 

If people really knew what goes on in my head, nobody would be my friend. Wait, actually, I don't really have that many friends now itself... To be honest, part of me feels envious of you sick ill folks. No, seriously, I get jealous when people tell me they are down with something. Of course, I'd be sympathetic and wish them well but there is a side of me that wonders how is it that they could fall ill just.like.that.

You see, I've never really had much luck with bugs and viruses. No flu, no cough, no fever. Heck, maybe for a day and then it's gone after a night's sleep or when work beckons. There is no luxury to stop and tuck myself into bed to recover. There were few times when my nose was stuffed but I never took a day off. It wasn't a full blown flu/cold bug; just a feeling that there is water inside the nose like when you inhaled water while swimming. I couldn't clear it off as it was at the back of my nostril. Waiting for it to develop into a full blown flu was a futile exercise as it never came to fruition. That was so frustrating as each episode lasted one week on average. Imagine if you have foreplay for hours and hours and hours and zzzz..... It'd clear itself up and before I know, things are in business as usual. My nose, not the foreplay.

Growing up, my main maladies were centered around my digestion system. Gastric, indigestion, diarrhea. Somehow, those slowly disappeared. Perhaps my stomach became accustomed and this is likely the conversation it has with my brain:

yea, it's just the gastric. can you shut off the alarm system?
okie, tummy. don't splash too much of them acid around. you don't want to bore a hole or something.
haha, I've grown stronger since she started cooking and eating her own food.

Now, my reproductive system gives me trouble but which woman doesn't have that? My mother used to tell me that the cramps would go away after you get married. Is there a secret PMS/cramps cure that marriage hands out? Does the government give you the cure so that the family stays together because  I want some of that good shit.

Everyone tells me how they'd been hospitalized for one reason or another. I, on the other hand, have no such experience whatsoever.
Chicken pox? No.
Dengue? Nil.
Fainting? Uh, no. Not even after a week of skipping meals and still exercising.
God made me all too strong in my own body. Not sure to be thankful or feel like a freak.

Unfortunately, my healthy streak has come to an abrupt end without any sign this weekend when I woke up with a dry throat. My mouth was probably left open the entire night that it gave me a slight sore. It doesn't help that it itches too. My nose is starting to block. There's a cough going on.

It ain't a pretty sight.
Yes, I am feeling under the weather. fml.