D#3rd Apr
Thankful
- cleared off the day's work. Well, sorta.
- continued being productive at home.
- free lunch
Learnt
All those years that I felt out of touch was quite real. To be able to finally put a name to it is ....relieving? Exciting? Liberating? My very first episode of derealization is something which I can recall very vividly in my mind. This was probably back when I was still in college or just started working. We were in a restaurant in Ipoh for a formal dinner (think it was my grandmother's birthday) and out of a sudden, I felt as though I wasn't there anymore though I knew that my body was. I told my mother about it and she asked me to shrug it off, maybe because she didn't know what to do about it.
Fortunately, it happened over the years but never got worse. Until recently. Few months back, it lasted for few days to the point that I was worried about my driving. Or if it was ever going to end. Miraculously, it left like it came. Just like that. You may think that it feels awesome, like getting a high from drugs but without those substance in your body. The truth can't be any further than that.
Your every awakening moment is being captured behind a veil. You are talking but you are also not talking. You instruct your mouth to speak the words but it is not you who is speaking. Confusing?
Welcome to my life.
- cleared off the day's work. Well, sorta.
- continued being productive at home.
- free lunch
Learnt
All those years that I felt out of touch was quite real. To be able to finally put a name to it is ....relieving? Exciting? Liberating? My very first episode of derealization is something which I can recall very vividly in my mind. This was probably back when I was still in college or just started working. We were in a restaurant in Ipoh for a formal dinner (think it was my grandmother's birthday) and out of a sudden, I felt as though I wasn't there anymore though I knew that my body was. I told my mother about it and she asked me to shrug it off, maybe because she didn't know what to do about it.
Fortunately, it happened over the years but never got worse. Until recently. Few months back, it lasted for few days to the point that I was worried about my driving. Or if it was ever going to end. Miraculously, it left like it came. Just like that. You may think that it feels awesome, like getting a high from drugs but without those substance in your body. The truth can't be any further than that.
Your every awakening moment is being captured behind a veil. You are talking but you are also not talking. You instruct your mouth to speak the words but it is not you who is speaking. Confusing?
Welcome to my life.
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